Midnight At The Treehouse

 

“We want to thank you again so much for everything Kathryn. Marriage is amazing and you helped us to make it all happen.”

Dee and Shannon met on line in 2nd Life, and managed to translate their romance to the Real World (although it took Shannon 3 solid months of asking Dee out before she finally said yes).

They’d originally contacted me about getting married next summer, but decided at the last minute that it was time to get married NOW!  So they piled themselves and their dog into their car, and drove 17 hours from Indiana to Burlington.

Their big goal was to get married at midnight in the now-famous treehouse at Oakledge Park, and brought a battalion of candles with them with which to light the ceremony.

When we got to the treehouse, it was empty but for a gigantic growler of beer and a large, beautifully intricate, blown glass bong.  We wondered who would have been so blasted out of their mind (or scared off) as to forget both the beer and the bong!

Then, just as we’d lit the candles and were about to start the ceremony, a young guy came riding into the treehouse on his bike, apologized for the interruption, grabbed his Implements of Destruction, and wheeled back out into the night.

The rest of the ceremony proceeded without further incident, Dee and Shannon went back to the hotel, caught a few tiny winks of sleep, piled back into the car, and drove the marathon home.

They just sent me this photo, and I’m so glad to know they made it back safely, and are loving the Married Life!

What Lies Beneath

 

We just wanted to say a huge thank you! The wedding was beautiful and we couldn’t have asked for more. We got many compliments about you from friends and family. We feel so lucky to have found you and know you were the perfect match for us. Our day was perfect beginning to end, so thank you for the role that you played in making that possible!!!!

Stephanie and Elizabeth were friends for ages before discovering that something was happening between them, and lo and behold they were falling in love!

They had a beautiful rooftop ceremony at the Sunset Ballroom in Shelburne complete with a handfasting…

As well as speaking vows they wrote themselves…

And exchanging roses as the beginning of a relationship ritual which they hope will last a lifetime…

But what I didn’t know until I saw the photo gallery from the ceremony was that lurking underneath all the hair and makeup and beautiful dresses and flowers and shining smiles was some seriously rompy sassiness!

These gals are amazing together, and I wish them all love and happiness and years and years of stripey socks!

Soft As An Easy Chair…

 

Deb and Karen

Deb and Karen had already been together 35 years, bought a house, and raised a daughter, Chelsea.  But when Chelsea took off for Thailand, these gals decided it was time to shake things up and re-invent their lives.  And that meant, among other big changes, getting married!

Their 4th of July ceremony was in their gorgeous backyard amidst a riot of midsummer flowers (and some rather riotous friends and family, I can tell you!).

The sweetest part for me (other than discovering the wonders of sparkling blood orange juice) was when Deb and Karen made their entrance.  Etta James’ “At Last,” a perennial wedding favorite, had been playing as we all waited in the yard for the Brides (with Chelsea on the laptop Skyping in from Parts Unknown).

And then, suddenly, we heard the sweet, sweet tones of Miz Streisand Herself singing “Evergreen.”  About the time Barbra got to “fresh as the morning air,” Deb and Karen came out of the house from separate entrances, met in the middle, and, gazing into each others’ eyes, sang the whole song together before joining us to exchange their vows.

Honestly, I kind of felt at that point, the ceremony was pretty much over, and anything I could possibly say would be totally redundant.

And really, they’ve set the Love and Romance Bar pretty high!  Ask yourself, could and your partner of 35 years look each other in the eye and sing your favorite song to each other without once cracking up?  Or without giving each other an ironic look?

Go ahead.  Try it.  I dare you…

Karen and Deb

Opposites Attract

 

“Thank you for making our day so special. It was an absolutely perfect day.”    Photo by Lindsay Raymondjack

Donna (on the left) and Lisa weren’t sure they were going to make it to Vermont for their wedding because Donna’s home town got wiped out by one of those legendary Southern tornados. But Donna was determined to overcome any obstacles placed in her path and get herself hitched up to this gorgeous gal.

Turns out, they’d been facing obstacles since they first got together, since Donna is a cop and Lisa is a lawyer.  Apparently, these are two groups who, in their community, tend not to mix socially.  It’s very Montagues and Capulets.  So much so that Lisa says if she ever gets stopped for speeding, the LAST thing she should do is tell the cop she’s a lawyer.

Also, when they first met, Lisa says Donna had no idea she was hitting on her, and it took a while for the message to get through.  Through won out though.

Lisa’s also cracked me up when she said, after having spent several days in Burlington, “It’s casual Friday here every day!”

Too true.  You can wear heels and a dress here, but people will look at you funny.

Strangers In A Friendly Land

Kim and Kira

This past Thursday, I was on my way up to the beautiful and historic Bread Loaf Writer’s Colony to spent the weekend teaching at the New England Young Writer’s Conference, when I got a message from Kimberly.  She and her girlfriend Kira were up from Mississippi, vacationing in Essex, and really wanting to get married on Friday the 13th.  Was there any chance I could help them out?

I got back to her and said I’d be teaching all weekend, but if they could make their way to Ripton at noon, I’d be able to marry them on my lunch break.  They thought that sounded like a fine idea, and a great adventure.

When my students heard about what I’d be up to, they offered to write a poem for the wedding ceremony, and also serve as the attendants and audience, since Kim and Kira wouldn’t have their friends and family there to support them.  I checked in with the gals, who were delighted and honored by the idea.  So when Kim and Kira showed up the next day, they had about 15 highly artsy adolescents there to help support them and send them on their way.

Marion reading the poem

I loved the fact that Kim and Kira had never been to Vermont before, and some of my students had never heard a real live Southern accent before – much less seen two women get married!

Thanks to the kids for their generosity and creativity, and to Kim and Kira for opening up their ceremony to a group of unknown teenagers!

Cappuccino, Cornflakes…and a Ceremony!

Chris and Anders

Chris decided he wanted to surprise Anders over their spring break – by getting married!  They’ve been together 10 years, and a ceremony was definitely on their to-do list, but it kept getting shuffled to the bottom of the pile behind things like, say: Graduate from medical school.

So Chris and I hatched a plan where I’d show up just after breakfast – though fortunately, by the time I got there, the secret was out.

Apparently, the morning’s conversation had gone something along the lines of:

Anders: So what are we going to do today honey?

Chris: I thought we’d get married.

Anders: Oh, ok.

I’m just glad I didn’t have to worry about whether or not Anders actually likes surprises.

Sorry to Wed and Run…


I was at rehearsal the other day for my latest gig, Sylvia, in which I play a dog.  But that’s beside the point.

On a break around 5pm, I checked my email, and had a message from a woman named Maia, saying that she and her girlfriend Michelle were on their way up to Vermont from South Carolina, and wanted/needed to get married right away, and could I help them.

I wrote her back and said that I was in rehearsal, but my next 10 minute break was at 7, and if they could come to the theater, I’d marry them right then and there.

Which is what they did.  The lighting designer made the lights look all pretty, and the cast and crew gathered around, and since we had so little time, they didn’t seem to want anything fancy, and I was hardly prepared anyway, the ceremony went as follows:

Kathryn: So you gals want to get married?

Maia and Michelle: Yes!

Kathryn: Right here?  In front of everyone?

Maia and Michelle: Yes!

Kathryn: Ok!  You’re married!  Have a great big kiss!

They kissed and handed me the license and went off to get some dinner, and we all went back to rehearsal.  It happened so fast, I never even got a picture.  But rest assured they were adorable!

Photo by Vasily Koloda on Unsplash

Claiming The Victory

"The battle is over. The victory has been won."

Bishop John Shelby Spong recently published a manifesto stating his unwillingness to further debate the issue of homosexuality in the church.

His feeling is that, like slavery or round-versus-flat earth, there aren’t two equal-but-opposing sides to the situation.  There’s only  justice, or the lack thereof.  And he’s not willing to waste his time debating with or listening to the point of view of someone fueled by hate or intolerance.  Or as Bishop Spong so eloquently put it:

Inequality for gay and lesbian people is no longer a debatable issue in either church or state. Therefore, I will from this moment on refuse to dignify the continued public expression of ignorant prejudice by engaging it. I do not tolerate racism or sexism any longer. From this moment on, I will no longer tolerate our culture’s various forms of homophobia. I do not care who it is who articulates these attitudes or who tries to make them sound holy with religious jargon.

You can read the full text of his beautiful statement here.

If…

We loved our ceremony and we love you!!! We were so right to choose you for this special event!!

Now in this photo, it might look like I have the pleasure of being sandwiched between two very hot guys.  But actually, I’m sandwiched between one hot guy who just happens to be split into two people.

Meet Mikey and Kian, who were considerate enough to come to Vermont to get married in my living room.

Apparently, they have such an enormous number of coincidental traits (birth time, Western and Chinese astrological signs, numerological numbers, preference for an obscure brand of silky Lithuanian underwear) that they’ve come to the conclusion that they’re basically the same person.

What they didn’t realize was that actually, Mikey and I are pretty much the same person.  And yes, I know, he’s a big, hunky, gay, bald guy.  So that’s a little distracting.  But don’t get sidetracked by the details.

When it came time for their ceremony, Mikey whipped out his iPad and started playing the song If by David Gates and Bread.  You know: If a picture paints a thousand words, then why can’t I paint you…

It stopped me in my tracks the way a very large object dropped on your head from a very great height would also prevent any further forward perambulation. It also hit me with a serious heart-throbby flashback.

When I was in junior high, I LOVED this song with a devoted passion only found in terminally romantic 13 year-old girls.  Not only that, but it was one of the few pieces (apart from Für Elise and Chopsticks) that I learned to play on the piano.  As you might imagine, I played it A LOT.  And, like a lovelorn lounge singer, always dedicated it to Dave LeDoux – the 6’2″ 9th grader who stole my 4’9″ 7th grade heart.

Years do pass, though, and from the moment I went to high school, both Dave and the song completely vanished from my life and mind.  While much of the music from the 80s has regurgitated itself into popular culture – thanks in part to the adorable presence of Martha Quinn on the Sirius Satellite Network – I’d never heard the plaintive tones of Mr. Gates and his theramin-scented musical confection anywhere.  Ever.  Much less given Dave LeDoux any further mental real estate.

Until Mikey and his iPad walked into my life.

While this might sound strange for someone who makes her living performing weddings, I’m not normally a terribly sentimental person, and certainly not nostalgic.  But in an instant, there I was, back at Cedar Park Junior High.

It’s the night of the Fall Dance, and due to our massive height difference, Dave LeDoux has gotten down on his knees to slow dance with me to If.

It was a heroically romantic (albeit physically painful) gesture, which as you might imagine, set the bar a little high for any other hormonally poisoned adolescent males I happened to encounter at the time.  Not to mention any other hormonally poisoned regular males I’ve encountered since.

I know now that while Dave’s knees recovered pretty quickly, my heart, apparently, never did.

This one’s for you Dave – wherever you are!

Candle In The Wind

“That was an absolutely beautiful wedding and your lovely officientness made it all the better. We decided that we should stay in touch!”

Tabby and Helena (pronounced Hel-EE-nah) (my third instinct after HEL-ena and Hel-LAY-nah) got married at the stunning Park McCollough House, a 35-room Victorian mansion in North Bennington, Vermont.  A bit of a haul for me, but worth it, as it was an exquisitely beautiful fall day, and perfect for some cross-country leaf-peeping.

When I arrived, the gals were getting dressed in separate quarters as various aubergine-clad bridesbabes ran last-minute errands.  I checked in with both of them, saw that all was copaesthetic, and went to head out to the gardens where the ceremony would take place.

Suddenly, I got a shout-out from one of the attending women, who was running towards me with a pillar candle.  “They’re lighting a unity candle!  Can you stick this somewhere?”

I hadn’t known they were lighting a unity candle, there wasn’t a place to put it in the garden (other than the ground), and I didn’t have any prepared candle-lighting text.

However, we here at Vermont Wedding Officiant are nothing if not improvisational.  I ran into the public bathroom at Park McCollough, and found a little white wicker side table stacked with tourist magazines – which quickly ended up on the floor, as the table exunted to the garden with me.

Then I ran out to my car.  It happens that Tabby and Helena’s wedding was the first of three that day, and the third ceremony DID have a candle-lighting as part of the proceedings.  So I grabbed that page, tossed it into the folder the the rest of Tabby and Helena’s ceremony and we were good to go.

tabby and helena

I should add that Helena gets extra props for both bravery and total commitment.  As she was delivering her vows to Tabby, someone from the Assembled Group called out to her that she had a wasp on her back.  Quoth Helena, “I don’t care.”  She was like a totally dedicated postal worker.  Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow, nor scary stinging insect could keep her from her appointed vows.

I have a feeling that Tabby’s in very good hands.