This One’s For Fluffy

Last weekend, I went down to beautiful Ohana Family Camp for the lakeside wedding of Elana and Gregg.

If it looks like I’m hiding in Gregg’s shadow so my face doesn’t get burnt off by the sun, that’s exactly what I’m doing.

I also cannot take credit for the color coordination of my dress and Gregg’s shirt.  It just happened that way.  We were sartorially cosmic.

So the tricky part of this ceremony was going to be the acknowledgment of Those Who Could Not Be With Us.  Normally, one mentions friends and family who are either Gone or unavailable, and it’s a somewhat somber moment in what are ordinarily happy and joyous proceedings.

However, in this case, as they were giving me the list of names, the last one they mentioned was “Fluffy.”

I said, “Was Fluffy a dog or a cat?”  And the response came, “Guinea Pig.”

Now, of course, I know that all pets are important, and that emotional attachments make no distinction between species.  After all, let us not forget Owen, the orphaned baby Hippo and his pal the centenarian tortoise:

However, from the standpoint of sheer comedic value, a sentence which reads, “Elana and Gregg would like to take a moment to acknowledge Ira, Charlotte, Joan, Grampa Donald, Dad Donald, and their recently departed pet guinea pig Fluffy” is just plain funny.  I’m sorry, but it is.

Still, I figured mentioning Fluffy was for the benefit of Elana’s 5-year old daughter Mia, who was probably still shaken up by the loss, and the line merited some serious professional help in achieving Sober Delivery.

Fortunately, my husband Mark runs a theater company, and has directed actors who are far more difficult to manage than I.  He made me rehearse that line until all giggles had been worked out of my system, and the delivery was both appropriately serious and not played for laughs.

I also decided to imagine that Fluffy had been a victim of the oil spill in the Gulf, and so in my mind, I was shaking my fist to the heavens, and shouting, “Damn you, BP!  This one’s for Fluffy!”

In the end, there were, admittedly, a few chuckles from the assembled, (because, I mean, come on!), but the ceremony did not grind to a halt, and we were able to get Elana and Gregg all hitched up without a hitch in the proceedings.

I found out after the ceremony that the mention of Fluffy was not for the benefit of Mia after all.  No, it was for Gregg, who was really shaken up by the loss.

This automatically and irrevocably wins Gregg the Sweetest Guy On The Planet Award.  Elana and Mia are lucky to have him.

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