Money money money money money money money…

I just learned that most couples underestimate the cost of their wedding by 40%, and that the average wedding costs $28,000.

Seriously. This is not necessary. I mean, if you’ve got cash to burn, go ahead, knock yourself out. Let it be lobsters, Belgian lace, and ice sculptures all the way. Load up on monogrammed M&Ms for your guests, hire videographers to make a film-quality documentary of the day, and escape the party in a triple-decker tricked-out limo. But this is not necessary.

Celebrating your love and commitment with heart, beauty, and community doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg. You won’t be dishonoring yourselves or anyone else by not hiring gold-plated caterers.

I mean, I’ve been to those kinds of extravagant weddings, and they’re beautiful and impressive. But you can do just as well with a bunch of hay bales, a playlist, a potluck, and a cake baked by your best friend’s Mom. You won’t be any less married if you get your dress second hand and have it altered to fit. Heck, buy 3 wedding dresses at Goodwill for $150 and have a seamstress blend them together into an all-new creation!

Or make your own. This dress was made from plastic bags:
All I’m saying is what I say to high school writing students contemplating a career as a pen jockey. Don’t go into debt over this one. Get creative, ask for help, and remember that the most important thing is being lucky enough to find someone you want to spend your life with, and sharing that great fortune with the people you love the most.

The rest is just beautiful, fancy cake frosting.

Soft As An Easy Chair…


Deb and Karen

Deb and Karen had already been together 35 years, bought a house, and raised a daughter, Chelsea.  But when Chelsea took off for Thailand, these gals decided it was time to shake things up and re-invent their lives.  And that meant, among other big changes, getting married!

Their 4th of July ceremony was in their gorgeous backyard amidst a riot of midsummer flowers (and some rather riotous friends and family, I can tell you!).

The sweetest part for me (other than discovering the wonders of sparkling blood orange juice) was when Deb and Karen made their entrance.  Etta James’ “At Last,” a perennial wedding favorite, had been playing as we all waited in the yard for the Brides (with Chelsea on the laptop Skyping in from Parts Unknown).

And then, suddenly, we heard the sweet, sweet tones of Miz Streisand Herself singing “Evergreen.”  About the time Barbra got to “fresh as the morning air,” Deb and Karen came out of the house from separate entrances, met in the middle, and, gazing into each others’ eyes, sang the whole song together before joining us to exchange their vows.

Honestly, I kind of felt at that point, the ceremony was pretty much over, and anything I could possibly say would be totally redundant.

And really, they’ve set the Love and Romance Bar pretty high!  Ask yourself, could and your partner of 35 years look each other in the eye and sing your favorite song to each other without once cracking up?  Or without giving each other an ironic look?

Go ahead.  Try it.  I dare you…

Karen and Deb